depression

I know I should be actively doing something about my sucky life but I can basically just crumple at this point.

- I make the least amount of money of everyone in my office.
- I'm not even a real employee.
- I made a budget the basically includes ONLY the bare essentials (rent, hydro, internet, food, cat care) and I am -57$. It's also Caro's birthday and so technically I can't really afford to go, since I have no budget for entertainment anyways (it's like... 16.50 + alchol and snacks, basically... we're going to the Biodome and then to the observation point in the big O, then downtown to a bar.)
- It was actually a very conservative budget that kind of assumed Rob would pay half the cat bills, which he clearly won't; he has no interest in helping me out despite the fact he wanted to keep Piz and said that he would pay for her care. (When I told him it cost 200$ to fix her, he was like "Wow, that sucks.")
- I already have debt and I wish not to add to it, but sadly I'll be using my credit card to buy groceries.
- My mom basically told me "I told you so" re: Rob because she says I never should have moved out with him when I knew he was unreliable. (I almost hung up on her.)
- I hate this apartment; I am constantly tripping over furniture and cats and I feel claustophobic. I don't even have access to all the stuff I wish I did.
- My head is spinning and hurts, and has hurt for the past 3 weeks, along with my ear. My back STILL hurts and I've been having nosebleeds again. No real time to go to the doctor.
- Can't afford to go back to school next year, that's for sure.

I could move, with my imaginary money and/or free movers. I could get a new job (have been trying for months, no responses yet). I will probably have to give a cat away (I can barely afford to feed myself).
I just don't understand how I can work full time and still be unable to afford food and laundry money. I don't understand.