I AM ERIN

I just started to cry because Maxime Gagné brought me 2 rush binders to finish (then said I was doing them too slowly and said he would bring them back tomorrow), and Maïte Murray brought me 15 books to bind which have to be done tonight.

I slept 4 hours, I'm fucking hungry and I just want to go home and lie down. I am so tempted to just leave my pass, walk out and never talk to any of these people again.

bullet points of my life

• coughing so hard i'm gagging is a really fun new symptom to this random cold/allergy/infection I've had on and off since like January.
• can't sleep, brain won't shut off despite anti-anxiety pills.
• been reading F My Life way too much and thinking about how much my life sucks. ex: Rob came home from visiting his parents in Ottawa for the day, for his birthday. 50 relatives and friends went and partied with him and his mom made him a cake. He complained because he hates chocolate cake. I see my parents twice a year at most and the last time my mom made me cake was for my 6th birthday - technically that's a lie because I discovered recently that my aunt made it, and she actually made it to celebrate the birth of her second child but since everyone had forgotten my birthday - including my mother who thought until I was 15 that my birthday was in August - she donated the cake to me.
• I watched 6 straight hours of Jon and Kate +8 today, which is one of the most retarded shows ever.
• I was forced to hang out with blissfully happy couples all weekend, especially the one who is getting married in like 3 months and turn the conversation around to things that only pertain to them. ie "Is your dessert good? We picked out our wedding came today and it is going to be so amazing!!!" followed by 30 minute long description of cake.
  
• Really REALLY have to find new job. Really. I have a fucking BA and I speak 3 languages, and read/write in a 4th, and delivering mail/making photocopies is SO BORING.
  

I don't have anything new to mention. Same old same old, need a hobby, etc... Saw Angels and Demons today but I didn't think it was that good.

Went to the Dr Friday, I have an unspecified infection somewhere and thus am on 10 days of penicillin, and then I have to go back for more blood tests because my thryroid might be failing, yay. At least this time I have anti-anxiety meds for the blood draw, so maybe I won't pass out in the street.

I would say yay 3 day weekend but I pretty much squandered it and did nothing. I have lots to do but am very low energy - I slept ALL DAY Saturday, then last night I couldn't fall asleep and then woke up at 8 for no reason. I'm going to get up at 9 tomorrow, because it's good for me to not sleep all day no matter how much I want to. I think I'm supposed to go for a picnic tomorrow and a walk on the mountain but nothing was ever finalized.

If I feel up to it and clean the kitchen/living room well enough, I do have 2 projects: perfect my chocolate chip cookie recipe/make butter tarts, and turn my 2 pairs of jeans and 1 other pair of pants into capris, and use the extra to fix the holes in the crotches (and also sew the buttons back on my cardigan).

saturday night

Rosanne went to Ottawa for the day and is "super tired."

Carolyn has school this weekend and thus doesn't want to go out.

Rob never invites me anywhere even though he goes out all the time.

Therefore I am home, alone, on a Saturday night, yet again, after a day of watching movies in my pjs. I am officially the most unexciting person on the planet. I can't even bother to go out and get any food.

I spent about 2 hrs mixing, baking, cooling and icing this delicious 2 layer cake. Kitkat had kept sneaking to the kitchen to eat pieces of it (the fact that I stopped him from eating an entire cake is a miracle, no joke). Just as I was finishing the icing, and talking to Rob, Kit FELL from the top of the cupboards ONTO the cake because he was trying to get down directly near the cake. He was covered in icing, the kitchen is covered in icing and cake and Rob did absolutely fucking nothing. There is icing in the living room on the floor and the couch, but he just saw I was near tears of frustration and went into his room, instead of grabbing and wiping off the cat.

I just noticed that I have icing cat prints on my pj top. I think I'm going to go cry some more.

i hate mondays

Had Dr appt this AM, have to go for blood tests (can go to CLSC any time between 7 and 11) and then to the allergist as well (have to make appt). I hope we shall soon know what is wrong with me.
That's really all I had to say. I couldn't sleep last night and I feel like I woke up too early, so I'm in a bizarre sleepy universe all by myself. Tonight is Canada's Worst Handyman so I'll probably stay up for that...